Review: To Sleep in a Sea of Stars

To Sleep in a Sea of Stars by Christopher Paolini
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

DNF @ Pg 536 (61%)

I think it's time to review this monstrosity.

Paolini is a fantasy author and nowhere is that more apparent than in this, his sci-fi debut. Stick to fantasy, buddy.

Let me just start with a list of my complaints and go from there.

- Dull and slow from the get-go
- Science is generally pretty light on, unless it's going into pointlessly detailed explanations of something
- Characters are annoying cardboard cutouts
- Frustrating behaviour
- The plot is almost non-existent
- The aliens are a friggin parody
- Tons of inconsistencies
- Just so pointlessly looooooong

*sigh*

Dull, slow, pointlessly long with a non-existent plot
Here is the formula of this story:
Kira, our protagonist, finds an alien super suit. She passes out. She has a weird dream. She wakes. They are travelling to another location. She goes to sleep. She has a weird dream. When she wakes, they are arriving somewhere. There is a fight. She passes out. Has a weird dream. Wakes up, they're headed somewhere else. Another fight. She passes out/goes to sleep. Has a weird dream. ARE YOU SEEING WHERE THIS IS GOING?!

I read over 500 pages of this stupid book and still have no freaking clue what the actual point of it was. I have no idea what was happening because it was all so similar it just blurred together. Honestly, if I had to read one more fking dream sequence I was going to scream. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS BOOK TO BE NEARLY 900 PAGES LONG.

The science
Admittedly, I don't read a huge amount of sci-fi, because the science tends to go over my head. However I recently read (and enjoyed immensely) The Salvation Sequence and this is the sci-fi I am comparing this book to.

I enjoy science that goes a little over my head, but in The Salvation Sequence the point of all the fancy sci-fi lingo was explained. For example, there would be a scientific explanation for something like about how energy would be channelled through the Thingamajig which would multiply the trajectory of the Whatchamacallit into the square root of pi or whatever and then it would explain, 'basically, when the Thingamajig went off, the tunnel would be blown to smithereens' (Clearly this is an example not just of what I mean but also of my complete lack of comprehension of some of the science stuff haha). Point is, no matter how lost I was with the science, I still understood what was happening.

In this book, there's actually not a lot of science, despite being set in space in the future. It's all kind of dumbed down, but then it will have a little fit here and there where it goes into a scientific explanation about something and you just have to understand it or you get left behind. I'm not exactly an advanced physicist (shocking, I know) so I definitely didn't get it.

Meanwhile, they nickname the giant squid aliens JELLIES. *facepalm*

Cardboard characters with frustrating behaviour
First we have Kira, who is our saintly protagonist who can do no wrong. Even when she's accidentally slaughtering people she's forgiven, because she didn't mean to, and she feels really bad about it. Also she's somehow always saving lives but don't thank her because she's just doing what anyone else would have done. Honestly, how everyone saw her as a hero constantly kind of mystified me because half the time I had no idea what they were referring to. She seemed to always be causing more trouble. She makes so many stupid mistakes and questionable choices and I just could not root for her. Especially when no one gave her nearly as much crap as she deserved.

Next we have the motley crew, and anyone who knows my reading habits knows I love a good motley crew. But these guys were just SO BORING. They are nothing new: the brooding Captain who everyone loves and respects and who our main character is definitely going to bang at some point (mercifully I didn't get there but I guarantee it happens eventually), the gruff sidekick who is actually more kind and considerate than you'd expect, the tough, quiet one with a soft spot, the feisty warrior one, the joker ... and honestly again they all blended together because they were so unoriginal I didn't give two craps about them. I hope they all get blown to pieces in a grand finale. (Tell me they do and I might reconsider finishing this book.)

Among all of this is a handful of terrible jokes and a little bullying on the side which I can only assume is both an attempt to lighten the mood but also teach people that bullying is wrong. (Thank you, Mr Paolini, for pointing this out to me in your super wise, realistic, science fiction/fantasy novel. I am so moved by this completely random message.)

Honestly, THIS IS A TRAINWRECK OF A BOOK.

The aliens and the inconsistencies
So the Big Bad are aliens which apparently look like giant squid and our protagonist and her squad take to nicknaming them Jellies. Because why call them squids, right? Also, even though Kira and her squad have come up with this nickname, it is coincidentally the same nickname EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE picked and chooses to use - even after knowing (or even ONLY knowing) their actual species name. Because 'Jellies' just represents such an intelligent, malevolent kind of vibe, right? How am I supposed to take this threat seriously?! I just kept thinking this was actually set deep in the ocean with mutated sea creatures. Maybe it would have made for a better story if it had been.

Concluding thoughts
Essentially, this is a fantasy novel, set in space, featuring evil sea creatures and it just DOES NOT WORK. There's so much being crammed in but there's not really a plot to drive it or even tie it together neatly. It's just a mashup of a bunch of ambitious ideas.

Imagine this: You decide you're going to let out this massive scream, right, so you draw all this air into your lungs, you're sucking it back, your chest is expanding, it is going to be a scream heard throughout the world, and then when you finally open your mouth ready to unleash this scream ... you let out an involuntary huff of breath - 'ah'. THAT'S THIS STORY. The ultimate disappointment. It is a world built of scraps and falling apart at every join.

My feelings toward this book perfectly sum up my feelings toward 2020: I was excited, had big plans, expected great things, and then as soon as it started it was falling apart and it just got worse and worse and more and more frustrating and now I am just overjoyed that it's OVER.

With thanks and apologies to the publisher for my ARC

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