Review: Four Dead Queens

Four Dead Queens by Astrid Scholte
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Yeahhhh NO.

I just was not feeling this at all.

For a book that promises four deaths, it's actually really slow and dull and repetitive and so, so shallow.

I am disappointed.

Summary: A plot involving the assassination of all four queens can only be unravelled by a humble thief with a heart of gold and her trusty love interest from the other side of the tracks.

My Issues:
-Characters are dull
-Kind of predictable
-Super, super preachy
-Shallow
-Cheesier than a block of cheddar
-All the best bits didn't even rate

Characters
Keralie is our skilled thief, and so damn proud of it. Don't ask her if she wants to be better. Because she doesn't. Or does she? But honestly no. Because she's a really good thief. But maybe she wants to be more? But no, because she doesn't. Even though she's actually a decent person and doesn't want the queens dead. She's still a criminal. She loves being a criminal. Why would she want to be anything else? She definitely doesn't. Except that maybe she does? THIS GOES ON FOR THE ENTIRE BOOK AND IT WAS SO PAINFUL.

Varin is our straight-edged soldier type who doesn't know how to feel because in his quadrant they train feelings out of you. I mean clearly his training wasn't great because he's leaking feelings all over the place and Keralie is there to CONSTANTLY remind him that feelings are great and, by the way, Varin, have I ever told you how important it is to feel things? Even the bad things? Because feelings are super important. THANKS KERALIE WE GOT IT THE FIRST THOUSAND TIMES YOU SAID IT. How this guy manages to put up with her through the entire book is a mystery to me.

Mackiel, the 'villain' of the piece, is pretty mediocre as far as bad guys go. He never really gets one over on Keralie - she's so smart and skilled she's constantly outfoxing him. Don't get me wrong, though - he's definitely still a douchebag. Just ... boring.

No other characters are really worth mentioning, except I will say that I wish Iris had stuck around a little longer because she seemed to be like the only decent character in this whole mess.

Predictable
Firstly, the queens don't die too quickly but with it in the damn TITLE you know it's coming so it's pretty easy to predict four murders. Keralie and Varin had me cringing from the time they met, and it was pretty easy to envision how their entire relationship would play out. The mystery of who is behind the assassination plot was a little intriguing but there were not enough clues or even drama to make it particularly enticing, and even still it got a little predictable. I just felt next to nothing reading this, except bored and embarrassed.

Preachy
Keralie is a fkn NIGHTMARE. She does not stop talking about the importance of feelings, and being true to yourself, and how the world needs to just get along. Surely there is something more than all these rules of segregation? *eyeroll* This is not new territory and I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: Divergent did it a lot better.

Shallow and Cheesy
I think the takeaway message from this book is that you have to appreciate all of your feelings because they are all important. Also be true to yourself. YOU decide who you want to be, not friends, family or the government. Also love is the most important feeling of all aaaaand excuse me while my lunch revisits. Could this get any cheesier? I have encountered these themes and messages before and, yes, sure, they are all important, but the way it was delivered here was just so lame. It felt like there was a lot more that could have been talked about and instead it wasted all its time on feelings and tropes that have already been done a thousand times. Take out the murder and this is more of a middle-grade kinda story.

RIP Best Bits
Firstly, these queens have So. Many. Secrets. but they're totally brushed over? I want all the scandals and intrigue! I want drama! I want action! I want screaming and crying and lying and backstabbing and ... *sigh* These poor queens were so hard done by. I mean, isn't it enough that they all die in the title?
Second, the tech quadrant is focused on perfection but it's not being called out? Oh but who cares right because Varin is from there so he's totally dreamy. *eyeroll* I mean it just seemed like half the time spent preaching about feelings could have gone towards the debate over what exactly constitutes perfection and how our flaws are what make us unique. Also science vs messing with nature. Dr Ian Malcolm would have some interesting thoughts for these guys I bet.
Third, the dramatic finale was pretty underwhelming. Keralie just gets out of everything so easy and it was all over so fast. Yawn.
And just to top it all off, the world building was pretty terrible in general. The history is whack, the separation is whack, the rules are whack ... so disappointing. There could have been so much more done with this, but it's just accepted? It's like she was trying to keep it short and unattached but it means the story just doesn't have enough depth.

The queens were the true heroes of this book and they all got bloody murdered didn't they> So we're stuck with stupid preaching Keralie and her perfect robot boyfriend instead. THIS WAS NOT A FUN TIME.

On the plus side, it seems to be a standalone.

View all my reviews