Review: The King's Spy:

The King's Spy: by Andrew Swanston
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I honestly don't know how something that includes so many exciting things could be so monotonously DULL.

What the story promises: Murder, lies, betrayal, torture, secret codes and mystery, all set during one of the most exciting periods of history.

What we get: Dude is assigned code to break. Detailed explanation of code-breaking. Only this is a tough one so he goes for a walk. Then goes back to trying to break the code. Then goes for a walk. Then tries code-breaking again. Another walk. Gosh this secret is really something isn't it!

I'll be honest - I was mostly skimming from about 50 pages in and I did not miss anything.

So disappointed by this because it should have been so much more exciting than it was. But there's just no emotion to it. Thomas is this 'quiet bookseller' who hates war, but other than that it's really hard to get a clear picture of him. He says he was good-looking in his youth but then agrees that he's ugly, he's a peacekeeper who won't fkn SHUT UP about dislikes how despicable war is but he easily wallops the soldiers when it's needed. He's a master code breaker, one of the best in the country, so brilliant and amazing, but then he struggles with every single code he's charged with cracking? I mean I feel like maybe someone exaggerated a little on his resume.

Plus you've got the fact that this story suffers from a classic case of 'told' not 'shown'. Zero emotional connection because there's no feeling behind any of it. I don't know any of these characters and therefore don't really care about them. The lack of feeling was a really noticeable absence because the info we're given all seems a bit confusing and contradictory. We know Thomas hates whores because they're ugly (stand up guy, this one) and generally acts like a fussy old man, but then Jane is the most lovely creature he's ever met (and he's actually in with a chance?) but, 'oh, she's talking to that soldier I don't like so I never want to see her again.' Total petulant child. And I STILL have no solid idea of this guy. One minute he seems like a judgy grandpa and the next he's apparently Don Juan.

So Thomas is a terrible main character. And I'm not exaggerating about the code-breaking, walk, code-breaking repetition. There are also way too many lessons on code-breaking that end up being dull and hard to follow instead of intriguing. Also, lots of talk about the war and how wrong it is and how Thomas hates war and violence. Yet I learned nothing about this war, or why it was really happening, or how anyone felt about it other than Thomas couldn't decide which side he was rooting for because, EW, WAR.

It was such a terrible, poorly written story. It really does include murder, and deciphering secrets, and betrayal, and all of these things usually keep me hooked but I honestly just did not care because they just cropped up in a sentence or two at the end of one of Thomas's walks so, again, there was no emotional attachment to what was happening.

Look, the whole thing is a mess. A little like this review, if I'm honest.

Here's the summary of everything that didn't work for me:
-Poor characterisation
-Monotonous plot
-Code-breaking was dull
-Murders seemed pointless and badly explained
-No emotional attachment
-Historical setting wasted
-No mystery
-Bad guys evident/unveiled early on
-So repetitive
-Boring superfluous details
-Rubbish final explanations

Things that were actually okay:
-Simon

Then to top it all off, when the why comes out at the end it's SO. FREAKING. POINTLESS. Why does this story even exist. I want a refund for all the brain cells wasted on this.

It honestly should have been a roaring, addictive, action adventure but instead had me about as interested as I am in watching paint dry. I'm offended by it taking one of my favourite periods of history to read about and making it mind-numbingly boring.

Apparently there are more books in the series but guess who absolutely does not care at all. There are definitely better books covering this period so I'll be reading those instead.

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