Cherry Pie by Leigh RedheadMy rating: 3 of 5 stars
The composition of this novel can be roughly broken down as follows:
2% food
8% clothing
10% Simone talking about what a badass she is
25% Simone definitely not being badass
5% actual detective work
50% sexual activity or tension
My thoughts, in brief:
1. I just do not like Simone at all
2. I think this book actually has the least amount of sex of this series so far?
3. What is even the point of Alex if he's off limits? (view spoiler)
4. I am a little confused about how everything actually tied together
5. But I'm very clear on everything Simone wore and ate while she was detecting ... things
6. My god this woman showers a lot
7. How great is Melbourne? I fkn LOVE MELBOURNE
8. Chloe is clearly the low-key MVP
9. Did Simone actually figure anything out at all?! Or did she just do a lot of convenient accidental eavesdropping?
10. Like ... now I think about it ... there should be a % up there for the amount of eavesdropping this girl does
11. All the girls have big boobs and look like strippers and all the boys are totally hot and do-able and Simone has sexually charged tension with basically everyone
12. Actually laughed out loud with the whole, 'take the glasses off and the ponytail out and the girl is miraculously transformed' bit
13. Also what's up with that whole, 'I will seduce you by shoving cherry desserts in your face' thing? Fellas, please let me know your success rate if this is something you have tried. I'm so curious. Has anyone ever fallen for a guy because he literally force-fed you? Hit me up. I MUST KNOW.
14. This book is both feminist and a feminist's nightmare. There's a lot of, 'strippers are people, too!' etc. which is great but then there's also Simone getting saved by boys a lot and also the girls hate on each other pretty hard. Simone judges everyone by their looks and basically hates fat and/or ugly women because she's a hot stripper, and how is life possibly worth living if you don't ooze sex from every pore? *eyeroll*
15. Did I mention I have a strong dislike of our main character, Simone?
The book is actually probably well-written though because it's told in first person so you can see really clearly that how Simone thinks of herself vastly differs from how she actually is. It's also somehow addictive enough that I can smash through a book in a day. But it's also full of coincidences and random convenient occurrences and Simone's inability to stop thinking about sex so it's pretty trashy, too.
Honestly I don't understand why this isn't a 1-star. How is it possible that I fkn enjoyed it. WHAT A MESS WE BOTH ARE.
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