Review: The Court of Miracles

The Court of Miracles by Kester Grant
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book is basically about one small, insignificant girl having all the hot/powerful people at her beck and call. It's freaking ridiculous.

I've not read Les Miserables, but I do know that it's over 1000 pages long, so if this book is supposed to be a retelling of it - with its mere 400 pages - that would explain why it feels so cluttered and chaotic. There are so many characters and plots etc that it leaves no time for actual tension or - most importantly - character development.

Nina has to be the most annoying, arrogant, self-absorbed idiot I've met since Harry Potter. She seems to think that she's righteous and clever but she just rampages about destroying lives for the sake of saving her sister. Allegedly. Mostly it's just awkward sexual tension with every boy she meets, and powerful people being unbelievably charmed by her and so doing whatever she asks of them. I don't get it.

Here's the thing: if you take away Nina, this is actually a pretty good story.

I love stories about assassins and thieves, so I really enjoyed the mix of all these rebellious guilds. Even though there was a lot of them and it was rather difficult to keep track of who was who, particularly when they all came with extra names and titles. Super confusing. But fun! Handy little chart at the front which actually shows the guilds and their leaders, although not all of them featured in this story, and I still got mixed up. There were some fun stand-out characters, though, and it was interesting the way they all kind of cooperated without really liking one another.

The scope of the story is huge, and as such there are a lot of characters that play their parts. I actually really loved Montparnasse, and would have appreciated if he'd been given a little more personal development and limelight. His skills were entirely wasted in this story, and so much of his time wasted over the cringe-inducing romantic tension between him and Nina. Just let him go out and kill some people FFS. I wanted so badly to fall in love with him but he just never got the respect he deserved.

There's also St. Juste (and don't even get me started on the names) who is the heart-of-gold, Captain America-type character who is all business but his business is standing against tyranny and protecting those who can't protect themselves. He also gets sucked in by Nina and there are so many moments where he steps out of character to flirt with her a bit. He also seems to still like her even though she repeatedly does sh*tty things to him? I'll say it again: I DON'T GET IT.

Seriously, so many characters got ripped off by having so much of their time wasted on mooning over Nina.

Because there's the prince, too - of course she enamours the prince, despite the fact that when she first meets him she's a 9yr old girl who sneaks into his room to steal from him. HOW ROMANTIC. *eyeroll*

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS PARTICULAR DEVICE: (view spoiler)[The whole, 'the only way I can possibly get out of this situation is to kiss the cute boy!' shtick. Especially since in the Prince's case, SHE'S 9 FREAKING YEARS OLD FFS. (hide spoiler)]

But, like I said: take Nina out, and you've got an interesting story of uprising and revolution and the criminal underground of Paris in the early 1800s. Which is actually kinda fun. There is trickery, backstabbing, secret allies, prison breaks, daring deeds, disguises ... there is actually a lot to love.

I just can't stand the main character. It's Harry Potter all over again.

Nina makes dumb decisions for dumb reasons, and a lot of her story is just not logical. All of these powerful people being at her beck and call, all of the attractive people being in love with her (despite an actual lack of any kind of decent romance at all), everyone playing into her hands and her being able to fool everyone who has been doing this way longer than her. I think the fact that she gets a cool nickname before she's even done anything cool kinda sets the tone for how high her pedestal is going to be for the entire novel. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Also, because so much time is wasted on how amazing Nina is and how everyone is so impressed by her, it just leaves so little time for the action. This is such a richly detailed world but it's neglected in favour of talking about Nina. The revolutionary tale is so powerful, and with the moral questions about family, and betrayal, and injustice there is quite a bit to ruminate on. There are so many ideas and powerful statements in this book that could have been built on; there are so many characters that could have grown throughout the novel, and had really strong moments that made us fall completely in love with them. But everything is wasted on trying to convince us that Nina is the best thing since sliced bread. (Ha! See what I did there with the bread ... and it's a story about famine ... not having enough bread ... ok, I'll show myself out.)

So I suppose, in conclusion: if this had been longer, more detailed, and less focused on Nina, I would have really enjoyed it. There is a lot to love about it but the ridiculousness of the god-like worship of Nina just sours the whole thing. She doesn't really grow or develop - she starts amazing and is amazing to everyone she meets throughout. And she meets a lot of people.

If you can get past Nina's arrogance and righteousness, you'll likely enjoy this a lot more than me. If you can suspend disbelief and just let the story and all its terrible cliches wash over you, it'll be good fun. There's enough here to entertain, and it does seem to set up for a sequel which honestly I'd be keen to read. There definitely is plenty here to love.

Just don't go into this one hoping for a lot of character development.

Spoiler Thoughts
(view spoiler)[
- Firstly, I thought it a little bizarre how Nina goes from being ready to offer up Ettie on a platter to suddenly willing to destroy the entire world to rescue her. She seems to forget all about the sister she was originally trying to save, all in favour of Ettie, who is essentially useless aside from being cute.
- Grantaire is so much more interesting that St. Juste, and after their first meeting with Nina I was hoping we'd get our sass from him, so imagine my disappointment when the serious one is the one who pulls the focus. Another wasted opportunity. There was so little humour in this story, yet that first glimpse of Grantaire suggested there was the potential for a lot more fun.
- I found it interesting the way Nina always said how much she loved Tomasis and how devoted she was to him, despite the fact that he was barely in the story. It made me assume it was all a set up for a stinging betrayal, so I was completely unsurprised by that turn of events. Another character that got the short stick, poor fella.
- What's up with the assassin lady being magically able to hypnotise an entire roomful of people with a pocket watch? LOL
- Also wtf did Nina actually do with her days because for someone who is supposed to be a thief she spends a lot of time co-mingling with the other guild members and tricking everyone around her.
- Honestly, I was kinda hoping for a dramatic surprise murder at the end - preferably Nina, but I would have taken the death of Ettie. Since she's the reason for all the drama. Very Helen of Troy.
- What actually happened in the end to the sister who was the start of all this??
- And Femi???
(hide spoiler)]

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