Review: An Ode to Life

An Ode to Life by Tajammul Kothari
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Full disclosure: I am not a poetry person. I've never been a fan of how convoluted the words get; the way the meaning gets lost because it takes so much effort to comprehend a single sentence.

With this short work of poetry, I kind of had the opposite problem. It's very simplistic, though it has some impressive words and ideas. It just doesn't seem to gel well.

'As even your cries sings melodies
For certainly you are a twinkle of their eyes
A blessing to cherish for a long time'

There are parts that are grammatically incorrect, such as the first line in this example, and it breaks up the flow, creating awkwardness out of what should leave quite a lovely impression. But there's also no exaggeration of the elements.

Let me explain myself using that first line.

It suggests this lovely idea of a parent's joy hearing their child's first cry. As far as I understand poetry, it's supposed to elicit an emotional connection, which just can't be done well in one line. Here, we have the idea, then straight away move to the next idea.

What I need is to hear that cry, see the baby's tiny mouth open while it cries, its face all crinkled up. See that gleam (twinkle) in the parent's eye as s/he cradles the child lovingly. I want to see where they are, feel and hear with them. A fancy synonym here and there contrasts with the simplicity of the poems in their entirety; it's not enough to create attachment because there's no feeling with it.

'Because nothing can make me smile but your smile
May go blind if I don’t see your lovely eyes
Deafness may grip me if don’t hear your voice
Your distinct aroma makes me smell nice
That soft touch of yours enlivens my skin
Passions ignite when your breath feels me
Can’t live without you my love'

Right idea, badly delivered. Yes, you want to allude to each of the senses, but the notion should caress the mind of the reader gently, not bludgeon their imagination with bluntness. Poetry is subtle, and goes out of its way to say everything in metaphor and similie. The latter, in particular, is missing here.

Eg: 'That soft touch of yours enlivens my skin'

This would be stronger if 'soft touch' was suggested by, say, a feather, (bare with me here, I know I'm no poet myself) and we knew what it felt like to have skin that feels enlivened.

Eg. 'Feather strokes from your fingertips shoot sparks under my skin'

In the second version (I made it up to present an example, please don't use it against me) we're getting the same message but we can feel it more because we know what a feather, and electricity, feel like. My example is probably still a little too blunt, to be honest. Can I just say again that I'm no good with poetry?

This is all purely from a content point of view. I can't comment on style and syllables etc because I know nothing about the literary rules of poetry, but I'd highly recommend the author seek editing advice from someone knowledgeable about the subject.

I like that it's themed on life to death, and there really are some beautiful ideas here, but it's raw potential with no refinement. The author has the talent but there's a great opportunity for growth. I'd recommend working closely with an editor who specialises in poetry (this will also help with grammatical errors) and reading as much poetry as possible. Learn what you like and don't like, and create your own style from it.

It's not horrible, it just has so much potential to be greater.

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