Review: Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions to Make a Positive Impact on Your Life and Career

Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions to Make a Positive Impact on Your Life and Career by Gill Hasson
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

So the first part had some interesting ideas, and the second part was all familiar territory, and the third part completely lost me.

Emotions have such a massive impact on our lives, and as someone who likes to bottle them, I was really interested in reading this and learning how they impact our lives through the way we manage them. I was hoping for some tips on being more able to feel without negative consequences. So I was interested in the first part, which breaks down the science of emotions, and talks about the secondary emotions that may be hidden by immediate emotional responses. It raised some interesting ideas, and talked briefly about some techniques to manage intense emotions: slow breathing, snapping an elastic band on the wrist, relaxing the shoulders ...

Part Two explored managing emotions in more depth, but a lot of it was old news to me. The communication stuff is all advice I've heard in my experiences working in retail, as it's all about building rapport and active listening to create clearer communication. Assertiveness is another thing I'm familiar with, so it mostly made sense, but it didn't feel particularly relevant to managing emotions. I mean, I guess it kind of does, but assertiveness takes rationality, and emotions are very rarely rational. It's like telling a depressed person to just be happy - it's not really that simple. Plus it then suggested some small techniques for managing emotions: slow breathing, snapping an elastic band on the wrist, relaxing the shoulders ... Suddenly I was starting to feel a little wary reading this book.

Part Three completely destroyed any credibility this novel had.

Spoiler alert: according to this book, if you are being bullied in your workplace, the best way to manage the bully is to quit your job.

Sorry, what?!

So if I have a job I love, and some new person comes in and happens to be a bully, and they make my life a living hell, then quitting the job I love is the most effective way to manage the situation?

I don't think so.

And if I have a child or niece/nephew who is being bullied at school, then I can either have a go at the bully myself or get the kid to quit school? Or 'include them in my group'? So, isolate them from childhood? How exactly is that gonna work?

Oh, and if I do choose to stand up to a bully, there are a few techniques that I can use: slow breathing, snapping an elastic band on the wrist, relaxing the shoulders ... Gee, now WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE?!?!

What a load of utter crap.

Then there's a bit about 'motivating and inspiring' others:

'You might need to negotiate and compromise; be prepared to offer something in return for the other person doing what you want them to do.'

Um, pretty sure that's called bribery.

So yeah, this three star read lost an entire star thanks to that last section of tripe.

It was such a great concept but it was delivered poorly and was weak in its logic. The research felt incomplete and the techniques were repetitive. I was really hoping for more but this felt like a desperate attempt at a self-help book where there was just not enough material. And the repeated refrain: '-and that's emotionally intelligent!' was just patronising and unnecessary. Also, who exactly are you trying to convince? Because saying it's emotionally intelligent doesn't make it so.

No recommendation for this one at all. People who need strong communication in their workplace may benefit a little but honestly I feel like this is going to do more harm than good.

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