Friday 14 June 2019

Review: The Amateurs

The Amateurs The Amateurs by Sara Shepard
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Okay wow this is definitely trash but I'm throwing it a bonus star because it actually caught me by surprise at the end there! How delightfully unexpected!

WARNING: This review contains minor spoilers

Plot: Five years ago, Aerin's sister, Helena, went missing. Her remains were found four years later, but her killer never was. Hers is one of many unsolved cases that are obsessed over by this weird online social network of amateur sleuths. Aerin reaches out to this group, and a bunch of them get together to solve the mystery.

Problem #1: The 'Case Not Closed' website apparently holds all kinds of miraculously available confidential information like case notes, crime scene photos and forensic reports. That sure is handy.

Problem #2: Seneca still gets all of her truly valuable information from Facebook.

Problem #3: And it's handy Seneca and her buddies are on the case because it seems the original law enforcement tasked with solving the crime were beyond incompetent. Alibis were never confirmed, leads never followed, searches never thorough. Everyone assumed Helena was killed the day she was taken and apparently zero alternatives were raised? Tbh I naturally assumed she ran away for "Secret Business" and then was murdered so it came as a surprise to me that this was a ground-breaking theory.

Problem #4: If we completely ignore the fact that the website has already been mentioned as having all the handy detective work available, it's totally okay because all you need to access the super secret police information is the right password. Thank goodness there's a really cute, totally naive, younger-than-the-others cop who has a thing for one of our leading ladies.

Problem #5: Drama queens. Some random blur behind a tinted window seems to be staring at you? (I'm super impressed you can tell that when you can't make out a face, by the way) Please make sure to scream loudly and run away in a panic. Someone's knocking at your door? Scream, call the cops. It's definitely someone trying to kill you. And it's okay that you're reacting completely irrationally for a normal person because, GASP! someone really IS trying to kill you! Like, OH EM GEE.

Problem #6: The writing is so trash. I was so confused by time of day and location because it jumped around so much and there was at least one glaring continuity error where the gang seemed to be both in a hospital AND in Maddox's room? But hey you will always know exactly what everyone is wearing and what brand of EVERYTHING is in every location. I don't even know what half this stuff is, honestly.

Problem #7: The messy relationship dynamics are just so cringe-worthy. Firstly, please focus, kids. Secondly, these hormones are RAGING. It made me feel awkward. Which is weird coz I was a totally awkward teen myself so you'd think I'd relate on some level. Weird.

Problem #8: I mean the whole crime-solving thing was just so terrible . They jump from one lead to another because every single thing they discover gives them exactly the right info they need with zero struggles. They lie a lot but they also stumble onto 'groundbreaking clues' that, honestly? this is where I refer back to the incompetent cops. But also HI. HI????! I mean that was the worst fkn clue ever and I'm so mad because that is just lazy writing. Plus I was so confused about the actual progression of the case because they are also busy trying to hook up in between and just ... if I were to describe this story I would describe it as a chain of safety pins. Only some of the safety pins are open and just hanging there and then others are just randomly hanging off other safety pins and then the whole thing is rusted and bent and really instead of trying to salvage it into something recognisable you should probably just throw the whole thing away before someone gets hurt.

As someone who managed to read The ENTIRE The Lying Game series you would think I would have been a little prepared for this hot mess. I was not. It was a billion times worse than I was expecting.

And yet. That ending got me. Can someone tell me how the rest of the series pans out so that I don't have to read it? Pretty please? Also I'm so curious as to whether there's an explanation or it's just another continuity error regarding this spoilery part: (view spoiler)

This is the perfect example of a YA book that should probably not be read by non-YA readers. Because there's so much wrong with it that more seasoned readers are likely to just cringe the entire way through, like I did.

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